Sunday, July 19, 2009

Deer horribul peepul....

Deer horribul peepul, mos'ly MEN, who keep threttening to eet us,

We iz not tastee. We dunt know where yoo got the impreshun that wee iz tastee. We iz not. We tastes like coff sirop. Bad bad coof sirop. Buckley's coff sirop gone bad. You wud not likes to eet us. Plus you wud choke on ourz tiny delicate bonez and DIE.

My sister iz rite. We do not go wif crème fraîche. We clash bad wif tarragon. We dunt look good in chiffonade. We smellz reel bad with garlic sauce. We iz very bad for peepuls and if yoo eet us, you will break out in pustules and die a horribul, painful, smelly, oozing death. Oozing. And yooz eyes will bleed. Plus yer man-bitz willz explode. Jes imagine 'splaining DAT! "Honey, my man-bitz iz exploded from eetin' chicks." Ooo. Honey no believe dat one. Yooz in big truble now, dood.

Hello! And no, weez black chickies are not tastee either. In fact, weez taste like BLACK DEATH. Yoo have herd of boobonic plague? Well, dat is whatz weez taste like. Trust us, yoo dunt wanna eets us. iF yooz eet us, YOU WILL DIE!! Weez is verry soory, but dat is fact. Yooz internal organz will melt. Also yoos man-bits willz wither and drop off. If yooz grill us, it meks it eeeven worser. Dis iz family blog so we no can deskribe details of DAT!!

Iz okay, tho. We gotz soloooshun! We iz more den jes purty faces. Oh yez. You dunt need to eets us, witch wood makes you sick and makes you DEAD anyway. Oh, no. Weez smart chickies. We gots alternative. Oh yez. Whip up dat tarragon chiffonade. Roast dat garlic. Fraîche dat crème. Moooove over, chickunz. Horribul peepul, here iz yooz answer:

Fire up the grill.

Lots of love, an' jes a few pustules and some ebola,

the chickz

PEE ESS: Chef Nick, iz yooz eyes bleeding yet? Happy Wombat Boy, hez anyting exploded yet?


  1. Anonymous2:42 pm

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA dat shood shew all dems peepoles dat wants to eet yous chikies.

    (the funny thing is that im watching the nutty professor or something like that with eddie murphy and dey all talks like dat! ) hahhah

    too funny Knat!

  2. Dear Chickies

    Have you asked your Mommy why she's raising you?

  3. Anonymous7:50 pm

    OMG that is too freakin funny!!!

    Jill from NY

  4. Dear Cute little fluffy and tasty - whoops - I mean beautiful little Chickies! If you come live w/ me - Iz promiz to protect you from Marvin the big bad kitty!
    love Scout!

  5. that was soooo funny! ..and yeah tell the chickie gals that "we believe ya" ;o)

  6. Deep-fried or grilled, don't matter too much nohow. I swear I'm not a male chick dude but I want that black chick bigtime.

    Christ, I've already imagined that sauce -- maybe a charmoula or some riff on tsaziki . . . maybe even a terrifyingyaki!

    And that sweet black thing is going to be going through my digestive system.

  7. You. Are. Bad!!!!!!!!

  8. That is HILARIOUS Nat!

    Do you guys have ChikFilA up there? They do a great ad campaign using cows. This reminds me of that, in reverse.

    Very clever chickies!

  9. Angela, we don't have ChikFila but I see their commercials are on YouTube so I must watch them!!


Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!