Saturday, January 03, 2009

Um... why? Why is it art?

Uh-kay, I know I sport a bit of an attitude towards a lot of contemporary art, BUT....

Can someone please explain to me why six canvases, each about the size of my computer screen, each a different really ugly colour, hung on a wall side-by-side, six across, is classified as ART? And why is said "ART" hanging in the National Gallery in Ottawa? And how much did they pay for this "ART"?!! And whose tax dollars did they use to pay for this "ART?!"

I mean, I really liked the hovering trash can lids and styrofoam peanuts display I saw last year in the contemporary gallery. At least THAT made me laugh, and the whole installation clearly took a bit of thought. And it was creepy in a good way. And that famous meat dress, (remember the meat dress?) though revolting, was at least controversial and thought-provoking. Albeit disgusting. And gross. And icky. And in need of replacement every six weeks due to decomposition.

But six ugly colours splayed across a wall? Please, someone tell me how I can make money doing this, because I just spent hundreds of hours creatings illustrations for a kids' book, and said drawings will probably earn me two cents an hour when all is said and done.

Meanwhile, I created THIS epic masterpiece in 30 seconds:

And my colours are PRETTIER than the ones in the art gallery today. Can the National Gallery please give me $30,000? That's a deal at $5,000 a square. And I can resize mine to any dimensions required! You want a show of miniatures? I can make this artwork reaaaally tiny, like this:

How about pointilism?


Larger? Smaller? Darker? Lighter? Name your artistic desires! I am your girl! Tell you what, you can have all FOUR versions of the above masterpiece for a bargain-basement $5,000! Act now before I change my mind.

Speaking of art, I might add that there's an "artwork" in the gallery that TOTALLY rips off the cover of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon (yes, kiddies, I am old enough to remember that album!)

On a brighter note, the Bernini exhibit was well worth seeing.


  1. I think I'm going to draw a stick figure and see if someone will consider that art! Lol! I'm with you on the contemporary stuff.

  2. Anonymous9:50 pm

    You're hysterical! I agree, some contemporary art leaves a lot to be desired.

  3. I'm not sure how to thank you for introducing me to the meat dress, about which I had not known. It's going to take me quite a long time to clear that image from my brain.

    I'm thinking my staff meeting doodles oughtta bring in a pretty penny...

  4. Honestly, I am not damning all contemporary art. But the six canvasses really got to me yesterday. They were essentially the colour wheel in atrocious shades.


Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!