Monday, January 26, 2009

I'd like extra anchovies on that!

So I ate lunch in front of my Mac today (if you must know, I was going to catch up on my missed Coronation Street episodes.)

Suddenly, Julius made an appearance...

"Are you not bedazzled by my fluffacious handsomosity? I believe you have something I want."

What would that be, O Cat Master of the Universe?

"Allow me to give you a not-so-subtle hint."

"Yes. The pizza."
(There she goes, putting potatoes on pizza again!)

Being the cruel catmother that I am, I did not share anything but the crust:

"Mmmm...nummynummynummy...nargh nargh nargh snurfle chomp chomp mmmmmmm!!!"

"I assure you, pathetic human, cats find nothing strange about licking a pizza crust."

"MmmmmMMMMMmmmmm... I'm diggin the carbohydrate coma, man. Look at all the pretty pretty PRETTY colours! And swirly things. I think I can fly! And wow, is that Jimmy Hoffa? Grooooovy!"

(Note the placement of paws on plate, denoting ownership.)

Sated, and having used his fluffaciousness to serve his own vile purposes (stealing my pizza crust), Julius left.

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen...


Sophie patiently waits as Gordon prepares her dinner, with the amazing SHOULDER KITTY surveying her domain.

The SHOULDER KITTY routine is extremely cute, unless you are wearing a thin shirt. Or no shirt. In which case, it is excruciating to have a five-pound mite scamper up your body, gaining purchase with her sharp little razors, I mean, claws. I think the SHOULDER KITTY routine will have to be broken before summer. Otherwise, Gordon and I will be SCARRED for life. "No, I don't self-harm. It's my kitten. Really." Plus Naomi has started trying this "leap silently onto the shoulder" trick out on visitors. Oops.

The other day when I was, pardon the graphic image, sitting on the toilette, Naomi leapt from the bathroom counter to land squarely on my back, which was a little surprising to say the least.

Meanwhile, Mr. Subtle emerges from under my desk:

"Can we go for our walk NOW? NOW?!! NOW!!!??!!"

I am ruled by my animals. Obviously.


  1. Julius is a smart kitty - he has the powers of persuasion to get you to give up your food! I went to the bathroom the other day and when I came back - Marvin had eaten all my Kraft macaroni and cheese. He didn't even hint or ask!
    By the way - very impressed with Naomi's climbing skills!

  2. Marvin!!! You naughty boy!! But Julius salutes you. He is not worthy!

    Who knew cats liked mac and cheese? But then, who knew cats liked pizza crust??

  3. Oh look at that wrinkly Tristain nose! So sweet I just want to kiss it!

  4. Ah yes. The Amazing Shoulder Kitty. We used to have a cat named Roo who would leap from the floor to one's shoulders. Roo was a mean, evil cat and did this, we feel quite sure, merely to attempt to kill our houseguests. Beware!

  5. You may think your cat is saying "Mmmm...nummynummynummy...nargh nargh nargh snurfle chomp chomp mmmmmmm!!!" Just be glad it isn't saying Om nom nom nom.

  6. Anonymous10:47 pm

    We are all ruled by our animals. That's why they have us! tee-hee


Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!