Thursday, June 29, 2006

Natural-born killers

The boy and I volunteer as a "Big Couple" for Big Brothers Big Sisters (fun! You should volunteer too!) A couple of weeks ago, we went to play paintball. Turns out I am a natural born killer... I LOVED it. I mean, really really loved it. A little too much. And I was good at it! I never got shot, and I killed several others. At one point, I could have killed the referees, I was so well hidden. They were actually LOOKING right at me in the forest, and they couldn't see me. The referees repeatedly warned us NOT to take off our face shields while in the field, and what does Mr. Referee do when he's looking for me? Lifts up his face shield. I coulda had him. I COULDA BROUGHT THAT SUCKER DOWN! Yeah, baby! But I restrained myself.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack at one point, there was so much adrenaline coursing through me! Can't be good for my blood pressure.

The two other over-40 woman who came with their little sisters both refused to play when they learned the true nature of paintball (i.e. you might get shot. Or marked. Or dirty. Or whatever.) Sissy girls! Girlie girls! Wimps! I was proud of myself for representing over-40 womanhood in the sport of paintball. I am WOMAN! Hear me shoot!

Of course, in family-friendly paintball, they don't use terms like "kill" and "gun" and "bullet". Ahem. But some of us just got a liiiiiittle too intense. Ahem. I'm sure I don't know who that would be. Certainly this little nature-lovin' pacifist. Oooh no. Not me.

Ya know, I could be one of those soldiers who go into the jungle and never come out again...

PS There were lots of coveralls there with the name "Trevor" on them. Gordon and I were both "Trevors" in the photo above. I wonder who Trevor is? I had a little teddy bear named Trevor once.


  1. It's a factory supply overrun, because no guy named Trevor would ever work in an industry requiring coveralls.

  2. Are you suggesting that a Trevor would be more suited to work as a Chippendale??

  3. Anonymous4:37 pm

    Please don't hurt me! I am a wimpy girlie girl and I might fall down while running from your bad-ass selves....


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