Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Why I love our local rural paper...

There is much about our small local paper that drives me nuts, but I LOVE the classified ads. And here's why: gems like this!


Why? Why is the bull VERY VERY quiet? Why isn't it just VERY quiet? Why is it important for a bull to be quiet (really, I need to know! Roosters, I get, but why is silence in a bull an asset?) What did they do to the bull to make him VERY VERY quiet? Did they threaten to turn him into a castrato? "Okay, okay, I'll stop mooing! Put away the industrial-strength rubber bands!"

I am also mildly amused by the two fresh Heifers in the ad above, but that's just because I was born a city slicker and have a different take on "fresh!"

I wonder if I can convince Gordon we need a very very quiet pet bull?

And should I worry about the guy who buys ALL KINDS OF HORSES? Knacker-man, perhaps?


13 comments:

  1. Love it. I must've missed that today. I think I was reading the crime reports. My fave from the past? "Six hubcaps were stolen..." Important enough to be in the polie briefs? Wow!

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  2. Great fun, Knatolee. As you know, there's nothing that picturesque in the Toronto ads. But, in Scarborough, a great spiritual psychic healer will (in 48 hrs., for $20) remove spell, impotence, read your entire future, and reveal names of friends and enemies.

    It could be a bit depressing, don't you think? I would prefer your very, very quiet bull, ...if only my apt. wouldn't be so small.

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  3. That's no bull. Well, at least if is not very very quite.

    Too funny.

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  4. Living in cattle country as I do, I would wager a guess and say that some bulls are rather vocal and stand around bellowing when they detect a lady who's in heat nearby. Some bulls just dispense with the bellowing and walk through a couple of fences to get to their lady fair.

    Having a "very, very quiet" bull could be a good thing, but then again, he could be gay!

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  5. Laughing my heart out here...Those comments are priceless!

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  6. Hmmm... I wonder... the bulls I was around as a child would rush the fence and bellow, so, a very, very quiet bull would make me wonder if he was missing some bull stuff. LOL

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  7. I am getting an education here...and that's no bull.
    Now if I can only stop laughing!
    LOL

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  8. Hmmm, I am guessing that quiet might refer to the temperment in the bull as opposed to his lack of noise making abilities. When a horse is "quiet" means they are calm - not silent.

    Just my .02

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  9. WOnderful. perhaps the bull likes nothing better than a quiet time with a glass of wine and What Heifer..

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  10. Will send this link to another blogger who knows a great deal about animals and likes to shoot the bull.

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  11. They put six hubcaps in a police brief?! Wow! I missed that one!

    Claudia, I grew up in Scarborough. How could I have missed this magnificent psychic? :) And you know, you can get miniature cows.

    James, I was hoping you'd chime in, given your dairy farm history. :)

    TTPT, I think this area is too homogeneous. I don't miss much about living in Toronto, but I did love the multiculturalism. A gay bull would do just the trick here! Mind you, I'm exotic enough as a child-free former city slicker.

    Callie, I am wondering myself. It's all very suspicious. VERY VERY suspicious.

    Elisabeth, there is so much about farming that I have to learn! VERY VERY much!

    Steph, that makes sense, although it's not as funny as the gay bull, or the rude bull, or the castrato bull. ;)

    Jams, do you think he might be a sophisticated bull who knows how to win the heart of a lady-cow with fine wine? I wonder if he chews his cud with his mouth shut?

    Marylee, I await the insight of your bloggy friend! No bull!

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  12. Knatolee - Ok, if you think that the advertised bull might me gay, then get this - I think I have a gay chicken! I still cannot tell if it's male or female. He/she makes nests, hangs with the females, but looks like a rooster. He/she has never laid an egg, never crowed, never had sex with a hen. No other roosters have been seen getting busy with him. Who knows???
    ~Lynn

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  13. Lynn, might your chicken be like these ones?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8561814.stm

    Or maybe he/she is just gay. THere are gay penguins; why not gay chickens?

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Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!