Sunday, July 17, 2011

The results of the 2011 Hen Haiku Contest are in!

Last night, we spend many hours (well, at least ONE hour!) judging the Knatolee's World Hen Haiku contest.

The deliberations were long and difficult and hugely amusing, as you will discover by watching this MOST EXCELLENT video:

* Note: the laughing hyena in the video is me. Couldn't help myself!

We laughed, we cried, we voted, we cried some more, we drank, and we ate Ronna's delicious cupcakes. Judging was not an easy task, with so many excellent, quality entries, ripe with double entendre. But at last we did manage to reach consensus, with just a bit of fighting. Admittedly, Richard did flip me the bird with his latex-gloved hand...

...but fortunately we are adults and can move beyond such things. HAHAHAHA! And so, the fine team of judges (me, Gordon, Ronna, Richard and Susan) are pleased to announce the winning poets:


FIRST PLACE goes to 

for this beauty:

Hens are in revolt
We sisters need roosters like
fish need bicycles


SECOND PLACE was a tie, so we have two winners! 
Second place goes to

for this sparkling gem:

Lovely chicken eggs
Beautiful treasure inside
A hen's best laid plans


for this bold statement on chicken sexuality:

Preen, primp, crow and strut
Chickens want a manly slut
Show them rooster love


THIRD PLACE goes to 

for this wondrous haiku on the consequences of excessive rooster-hen fornication:

Quick, fleeting passion
Leads to missing back feathers.
Apron for Chicky!


We also have a fine array of honorable mentions. 

Congratulations to these honorable mention winners:

No Cialis for
Mr. Beaker or Errol
Always good to go

Chicky hires Gordon
No fury like a scorned hen
See you in court, boys!

Chickens are jealous
Kitty pool in the basement
Dude, where's our hot tub?


Beaker loves lovin'
He cannot select just one
Taste just like chicken


Rooster ponders change
Swaps his coxcomb for moustache
Poultry - Out and Proud!

Beaker has been bad
Punish me hard he cries out
Loves pain and pleasure


And in the Honourable Mention special TOPICALITY category:

O Canada Post
Beaker's love notes to Chicky
Languish in thy bins


Royal visit soon
All the hens are practicing 
feathery curtsies

Errol bows deeply
then he salutes Prince William
Beaker ogles Kate


Mayor Ford decreed
he would not march this Sunday
Beaker has more pride


And in the Honourable Mention special A HAIKU ACTUALLY WRITTEN IN JAPANESE category:

Nicholas Robinson, aka Chef Nick

niwa tori wa
mayonaka kite
kitsune naku

(The hen when,
Midnight comes
The fox cries.)

© 2011 Nicholas Robinson


Congratulations to you all for your fine work! Would all of the winners (First, Second, Third and Honourable Mentions) please send me your snail mail address by contacting me at the email address in my profile, and I will mail out your prizes in a reasonably timely fashion.


And Ronna, in her brilliance, came up with the idea of HEN HAIKU cupcakes! She baked and decorated a delicious assortment of chocolate cupcakes with limoncello buttercream icing (check out Ronna's Cakebook on Facebook to see more of her amazing creations.)

For hygiene purposes, we donned latex gloves, but drew the line at hairnets:

Then we set to work constructing cupcake haikus!

 Probably wouldn't have been a good idea for anyone to bend over at that moment....

Richard and Susan came up with an epic hen haiku:

Gloved high fives all around!

Ronna's turn!

 Creativity in action!

And the result is marvellous:

Here's my effort. I cheated and wiped out the first "r" on the "primp" cupcake. Ahem.

Susan and Richard watch Gordon at work.

It yielded yet another fine, if slightly incomprehensible, haiku: 

Alex was hugely impressed!

And the cupcakes didn't last long.

After the judges have had some months to recover, we'll launch a duck haiku contest.

Congratulations to the winners, and thanks to all for participating and giving me so many fun haikus to read. They made me laugh every day!

Go visit Ronna's blog for her fun post on this event.


  1. This looks like a great time! I love Ronna's creations!! :) Congrats to the winners!!!!

  2. I am honoured Knatolee. I was up against stiff competition, fnur, fnur!

    Those cupcakes were look amazing

  3. Next time, I want to be on the judges panel! Too much fun; I must have read the entries ten time, at least.

    Congrats to the winners!

  4. Beaker's Roosters Choir3:58 pm

    We demand a retrial.

  5. Anonymous4:48 pm

    I want to thank the judges for the honorable mention! And I also want to thank my parents for conceiving me. I must thank my former religion for damaging my brain. And finally, and perhaps most of all, I want to thank my beer for making blogging and commenting *that much more fun* if a tad more dangerous.

    : )

    And just sayin'. You know you're asking for trouble when you start a duck haiku contest. Duck ... Charlie Sheen ... and all kinds of creative uses of the word f***. When can we get started? ; )

    I want one of those cupcakes.

  6. That song ... now I have a mental image of chickens wearing garter belts!

    I'm so happy to have won third place. It looks like all of you had fun judging the haikus, and I can't wait for a duck haiku contest.

  7. Lynn, Ronna makes great creations! :) She's already planning the Duck Haiku sequel dessert.

    Jams, you were very deserving! Too bad you couldn't have a cupcake.

    Katnip, we should have the next judging in Vegas!

    Beaker's Roosters Choir, the decisions of the judges are final. Next time, think to bribe us in advance!!

  8. CogDIs, your acceptance speech alone merits a prize. Congratulations!

    AHab, send me your snail mail backchannel and I shall mail you your prize. I promise not to SPam you! ;)

    John, there there, I loved your haiku. What can I say? The other judges pressured me. It was like being sequestered with a jury! And cupcakes.

  9. Anonymous6:53 pm

    Thought you said you were all wanabee Scots over there Knatso? Huh, Nae Chance Noo after such rejection of fine Scottish verse :( :) Ach, congratulations to the winners (I suppose).

  10. What a great idea you had. It's wonderful that people participated with so much enthusiasm. It has been fun from beginning to end. And this final post (photos and video) is hilarious.

    Congratulations to the winners. And to the Cupcake Queen!

  11. Anonymous5:01 pm

    You like me! You really like me!

  12. Thanks for a peek into your fun party. Thanks for the tie for second. The Haikus were so great I feel honoured to get second.

    BTW, what did i win?

  13. I was giggling throughout the post.... looooved the haikus!

  14. I think this whole thing is about the most fun I ever heard of anybody having for free!

    I was afraid to enter, for fear I might produce something foolish. Can you believe it?! No more wall flower for me!

  15. My sister suggested that instead of duck haikus we should do duck limericks for our next contest instead. Not as classy, but think of the possiblities of having to

  16. Andrew, there is no accounting for the taste of the other judges! ;)

    Claude, we had a blast and Ronna's cupcakes made the evening.

    TTPT, we LOVED you!

    SugarCreekStuff, you will receive a selection of fine hand-crafted chicken photo greeting cards, just as soon as I get my act together!

    Angel, wait till the DUCK LIMERICK CONTEST! Hahahahaha!

    Nance! You saw the video. Are you still worried about looking foolish? Would it be possible to look more foolish than the judges on a sugar high?!

    Ronna, I'm not sure how classy some of those hen haikus were... LOL!

  17. Loved this! If you ever have another Hen Haiku judging party I might crash it. I’ll bring snacks, don’t worry. :D


Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!