Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Mr. Handsome

This is Charlie Sheen, who came so named because of his, ahem, piggish sexual habits with the girl ducks. But really, he is much, much nicer than his drugged-out movie-star namesake, not to mention way cuter!


"Get my best side!"


"Wait, this is my best side!"



"Nope, every side is my best side!"


Charlie and I have deepened our relationship. I fear Gordon may be jealous. The other day, while I was sitting in a chair in the duck run, Charlie slowly approached me. At first I thought he was just checking me out, but then he began to quiver. Next, he pressed his beak against my arm and nibbled gently. Then he thrust his substantial chest again my forearm and tried to... mount it. I laughed so hard, I think it knocked him off.

But that didn't stop him. Next he took aim at my leg, with the same routine: quiver, nibble, hump. Slid off again, and walked away looking sad.

I thought he'd figured out that I wasn't the duck for him. After all, what man wants a woman who laughs outright at his amorous attentions? 

But no. Yesterday, while filling the duck pool, I was once again approached by Mr. Frisky. Quiver. Nibble. Hump (the arm again!) Sly look followed by tail waggle.

You'd think he could at least have taken me out for a drink first!
Meanwhile, Eugenia is now sitting on TWELVE eggs and pecks at my Birkenstock-clad feet every time I dare to go in the duckhouse. It's stinking hot here (supposed to hit 35C tomorrow with the humidex making it feel like upwards of 45 C, YUCK!) so we have a fan in the duck house and I'm trying to find other ways to keep it from overheating, like a milkcrate full of ice packs.

Never a dull moment around here. And in Charlie's eyes, I apparently still have it, middle-aged or not.

14 comments:

  1. I hear you haven't lived until you've been humped by a duck...

    Say! How's the new litterboxpool working out?

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  2. I don't know, Knatolee....he's pretty cute.
    I thinks it's the feet that get me.

    Stay cool. I am putting ice cubes down my bra as I type.

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  3. I think Charlie has met his match. You are such a tease, Natalie (so I hear)!

    And wow, so much fodder for duck haiku. Little did we know ... ; )

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  4. I wish I was there to see the humping and the tail wagging! :D

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  5. I expect Charlie just feels sorry for you and doesn't want you to feel left out. He doesn't realise you're the type of girl who will publish all his secrets to the world.

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  6. Duck humping? Sounds like this Charlie has Adonis DNA too. WINNING!

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  7. What a handsome fellow. Watch out you don't find him one evening snorting coke off the rumps of mallard hookers!

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  8. Katnip, I can officially say "I've lived!", three times and counting! And the litterboxpool is totally excellent. The kitties LOVE it!

    Deb, he really is super cute, if a little oversexed! :) Wasn't today a scorcher? Keep making ice cubes!

    CogDis, I like to keep the boys on their (webbed) toes! And my friend Ronna suggested the next contest be duck LIMERICKS! I like it. Let's up the ante.

    Angel, I'm surprised he doesn't get a complex, with me laughing at him all the time!

    Andrew, ya snooze ya lose. He should have looked into my soul before he started ravishing my limbs!

    AHab, they should just get rid of the human version and replace him with AWESOME DUCKS!

    Chicken Keepers, thanks. He's a cutie.

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  9. Katnip, I can officially say "I've lived!", three times and counting! And the litterboxpool is totally excellent. The kitties LOVE it!

    Deb, he really is super cute, if a little oversexed! :) Wasn't today a scorcher? Keep making ice cubes!

    CogDis, I like to keep the boys on their (webbed) toes! And my friend Ronna suggested the next contest be duck LIMERICKS! I like it. Let's up the ante.

    Angel, I'm surprised he doesn't get a complex, with me laughing at him all the time!

    Andrew, ya snooze ya lose. He should have looked into my soul before he started ravishing my limbs!

    AHab, they should just get rid of the human version and replace him with AWESOME DUCKS!

    Chicken Keepers, thanks. He's a cutie.

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  10. Jams, you made me laugh out loud. Again. ANd I'm glad I swallowed my mouthful of cocoa BEFORE I read that!!!

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  11. I do believe Charlie is smiling in each of those pics. Limericks? Bring it on!

    There once was a duck named Charlie
    His libido revved like a Harley
    Spying Natalie's arm
    He put on the charm
    And she launched him into the barley. : )

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  12. Charlie thinks you're one of his "goddesses!"

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  13. CogDis, that is a FANTASTIC limerick!!!

    TTPT, I am pleased if anyone considers me a goddess!

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Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!