Sunday, January 02, 2011

Day 2, 2011


The beautiful key lime pie from "A Brunch" on December 5


Day 2 of the new year... Gordon keeps telling me it's going to be my best year ever. I am dubious, but we shall see. I must admit, Gordon is often right about things. If it IS going to be my best year ever, it is up to me to make it so. The world in general is in a pretty depressing state, and it can get me down, but I keep working to improve my inner world. The chickens, of course, always put a smile on my face!

The good ladies over at Hen's Teeth put up a thought-provoking post yesterday. At the end, they asked these questions:


How shall we personally respond, rather than react, to the daunting conditions we face?
Where will our personal hope, our energy and our will come from?
How will we rise above our personal discouragement and contribute constructively?
How should we live now?


What do you think? I get pretty discouraged by a lot of what goes on in the world, but I refuse to give up and hide under a rock. I know I can't control the actions of other people, so I am doing my best to look after my own personal demons, be a better person, and do what I can to support and love the people in my life, not to mention the animals and wildlife.

And I need to devote more time to my writing. Since I was very little, all I ever wanted to be was a writer, and writing has always been my first love. I used to stand in the school library envisioning my name on the spine of a book. Even as a child, I knew what I was supposed to be doing with my life, and I have done a fine job thus far of avoiding my life's calling. My certified-narcissist mother didn't help. Nor did my ex, a software engineer who made fun of "artsies" on a regular basis.

While I have managed to get my name on a book as an illustrator, the author part has eluded me to date, which is entirely my own doing. Because for me, any serious writing involves having serious feelings, and my feelings and I have been at war lo these many years! But that's something I have been working on, and I am feeling hopeful that as I work through issues from the past, I can pick up where I left off at age 13, when writing became too painful and I decided that maybe I should be a classical musician. One Bachelor of Music, four million wrecked reeds (or thereabouts) and a zillion hours of practice later and what do we have? A clarinet that has been sitting in a closet for the past 15-odd years! (But I still sing and play piano.) However, the music gig did lead me to Gordon, which made it all worthwhile. I love a man with a tenor saxophone! And I will never stop being an artist. I need to do that as much as I need to write.

Sorry, I think the New Year has put me in a ruminating mood. Now I need to go make chili and prepare for the visit of our friends and their assorted dogs (I think there are four or five of them! I have lost track -- the dogs, not the friends!) We were going to go snowshoeing, but the recent warm spell has managed to melt almost all the snow. A nice walk in the mud for everyone, hoorah! But it's always fun to spend time with good friends.

So give some thought to those questions that the ladies at Hen's Teeth asked. Do you have any answers?






9 comments:

  1. Every life is special, everyone has a "story" that needs to be told. Go write that book!

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  2. You're the bee's knees in my book, Natalie!

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  3. "I am doing my best to look after my own personal demons, be a better person, and do what I can to support and love the people in my life, not to mention the animals and wildlife." - I am going to make this my New Year resolution!
    Here's a truck load of good wishes for you to start on that book. Judging by how popular your blog is, your book I am sure will be great! (I guess you already know that I love your writing!! :)

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  4. put your chin up
    and your best foot forward!

    thats all you can do
    x

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  5. Thanks for the thoughtful responses, you four. Hope you all have a wonderful 2011!

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  6. Hey Nat, you ARE a writer. Every blog post tells a story and you do it so well ...now you just have to figure out how to get your name on a spine.

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  7. Girlfriend, I think you're awesome! Your thoughtfulness and your clear-eyed look at the world are always refreshing.

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  8. New beginnings always make us take a look at the past. I do hope that you start to pen your book this year. Painful as the process may be, you will be stronger and I'm sure feel such a sense of release once done. You can then move forward, much freer from having let go of the weight from the past.
    Best wishes for a fulfilling New Year Natalie.

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  9. Fran and Marylee and Anonymous, I really appreciate your kind comments and am touched. :) Thank you thank you!

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Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!