Thursday, February 12, 2009

Such a naughty sock monkey!

(Okay, before anyone says it, YES. Yes, I need a life. What of it?)

Now back to the naughty sock monkey. Today a parcel arrived from my friend Beth in Toronto. She and her lovely daughter Maliya MADE me a real sock monkey for my birthday!! Yaaaaaaaay! I have never had a sock monkey before, not even as a wee hyperactive only child, so I am thrilled. Now I own a beautifully handcrafted one, made by my dear friends.

"OOoh! Oh joy! Oh bliss! Mr. Sock Monkey, you are LOVELY! Aren't you such a lovely sock monkey? So quiet, so cuddly, so well-behaved. And you don't leave scratch marks on my back like Naomi-kitten does when she runs up it just after I get out of the shower! You just quietly hang there, bow-legged and mouthless. I think we should get rid of those nasty clawed cats and replace them with a herd of sock monkeys!"

"We beg to differ!"


"I bet no one in the world as a sock monkey as nice and BEEYOOTIFUL as MY sock monkey! And such a good sock monkey, a SAINTLY sock monkey!"

"Wheeeee! Sock monkey, sock monkey, I've got a sock monkey! And you don't! Neeeener neener neener neeeeeener! Pffft! Look at my happy dancing sock monkey!"
(Hmmm... maybe someone has been working at home alone too long?)



"Waaaait a minute, MISTER sock monkey!! Did YOU take the bite out of my lunchtime pizza? What do you mean 'NO!'? You have cheese on your fingers! Well, they're more like a stump, really. No individual fingers that I can discern. And how DO you take such a big bite when you have no mouth?"


"You are a very, very NAUGHTY sock monkey! What? What? Don't talk back to me, you naughty, naughty sock monkey. I'll have you know that my Vizslador (Lab-Vizla cross, but doesn't "Vizslador" sound majestic?) Tristan is very, very good at disembowelling stuffed animals with absolute surgical precision. My advice to you, NAUGHTY sock monkey, is to watch that mouth and keep your gob OFF my lunch, or your guts will be scattered around the dog beds! Do you hear me, SOCK MONKEY? Sock monkey? What are you doing with that fork, sock monk– aaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"


"My name is Mr. Sock Monkey, but you can call me Sock. Nobody messes with me. NOBODY! Now pass the pizza!"


"Hide your pizza. There's a new sock monkey in town."

14 comments:

  1. Hilarious!!! Sadly, I had to look up what a sock-monkey was :(

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  2. Anonymous4:45 pm

    Oh. My. God.

    a) Beth and Maliya did a GREAT job! That is the cutest sock monkey I have ever seen. I presume they made it from unworn socks?

    b) I think you need to leave the house once in a while, but then I wouldn't laugh nearly as much.

    Phyllis

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  3. Well, the sock looks good and smells good, so I'm thinkin' it's a new one! :)

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  4. I bet you can hear me laughing!

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  5. Anonymous5:27 pm

    A monster of a sock monkey! He was pretty cute until he was armed!

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  6. Watch out for those sock monkeys! I always knew they had a hidden evil side.....
    P.S. Have you introduced the sock monkey to the kitties?

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  7. Shelley, I fear the kitties would shred Mr. Monkey, or at least slobber all over him. And we already know what the dogs would do!

    That's one nasty armed monkey, eh? Although he sat quietly in the kitchen last night and from what I can tell, committed no evil acts.

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  8. LOL... you are too funny!

    BTW... I do love the sock monkey.

    ~ Wolf Lover Girl

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  9. You're still crazy, you do realize that don't you?

    That is a really nice Sock Monkey though, and incredibly fierce LOL!

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  10. Oh yes, I'm still crazy. Some things NEVER change!! :)))

    Sock Monkey is still plotting to take over the world...

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  11. Hey Knatolee, I am giving a sock monkey workshop at RAWSUGAR Saturday Mar 28 2-4, I saw Gordon last week and told him about it, dont know if he told you. :-) Cheers, Kimberly

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  12. Thanks, Kimberly! I wish I could make it.. I could create a whole tribe (troop? ensemble?) of sock monkeys!!!

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  13. I don't know who you are, but you and your sock monkey are brilliant!

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Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!