Monday, February 23, 2009

And a good time was had by all!

(Or so I hope. I suppose I should only speak for myself!)

Happy Wombat Boy and his friend (who needs a nickname...for now I'll call him "Nature Boy") came to visit on the weekend from Toronto. I think they mostly came because they wanted to meet Sock Monkey. Okay, it is conceivable that HWB wanted to visit with Gordon, who is his friend of many, many years. But I bet the highlight of the weekend was Sock Monkey. I mean really, do the comparison: Sock Monkey, or Gordon? Sock Monkey, or Knatolee? SOCK MONKEY rules, baby!!

We got a few very nice photos, but I try to be respectful and not post photos of people on my blog without their permission (except for Spongegurl, whose friendship I abuse on a regular basis by putting Photoshop-altered pictures of her all over my damn blog. Sorry, Spongette. But I love you!) ANYHOO, to protect the identity of those involved in yesterday's fantastic 2-1/2 hour walk in the woods (we fruitlessly looked for snoozing owls, but I did bravely lead the men across a frozen river and back), I have altered their identities. I think, however, you will still recognize Gordon:

Nice hat, Gordon. Gee, WHO KNIT IT FOR YOU? Your lovely WIFE?

Too bad the monkey alterations hide facial hair. I was in a house with three bearded men all weekend, and I have to tell you, I am really fond of (neatly-trimmed, not Grizzly Adams or Joaquin Phoenix) male facial hair. I completely blame this on my mother, who was also fond of male facial hair, and would often sigh at the sight of a hairy male face and coo "Ooooh! I love beards." I heard this a lot growing up and it infected me. Anyway...

The two sock monkeys, I mean, our guests, are both really interesting people and Nature Boy shares my sense of humour and love of double entendres (although I can't say for sure that his humour is quite as twisted as mine, as the following photos may indicate.) HWB has a very sophisticated and dry sense of humour. Gordon could keep up with none of us, bless his little cotton socks (another thing I got from my mother, cute little English expressions.)

Not only did we have a fantabulous visit, Nature Boy is a cat fan, so all the kitties got a lot of attention, especially that slut Naomi who threw herself at Nature Boy like the cheap tart she is. I believe there may be a permanent rift between her and Alex (tripod kitty) as a result! And I had to check backpacks before HWB and Nature Boy left to make sure the slut, I mean, Naomi, wasn't smuggled back to Toronto, because apparently the attraction was mutual. (Alex, your beloved Naomi was just this minute throwing herself at Julius, trilling girly little purrs. Are we going to have a ménage à trois in this household?! And don't forget how willing she was to dump you for that Michigonian feline looker, Marvin! Nature Boy, Julius and Marvin, all in the same month. Holy kitty litter, catman!)

And not only did we have a fantabulous visit and lots of good kitty lovin' and owl huntin', Happy Wombat Boy had remembered our desperate kitchen knife situation and brought as gifts not one but TWO knives!! Just as I was about to cut Saturday's baguette with some old dull blade, we were presented with this:

It's a bread knife. A beautiful bread knife. And it's SHARP!

But wait, there's more. We also got THIS lovely blade:

(Why the hood? Bad hair day. And I was channelling the grim reaper. Yes, the grim reaper has in fact been known to wear a blue OSPCA hoodie!)

Alas, HWB had not been previously informed of my tendency to have accidents involving sharp objects (such as cutting my thumb with an Xacto knife while a young graphic designer doing paste-up, necessitating an ER visit, or trimming my finger with a hedge trimmer, and God help me, I use a hatchet almost every day in winter to split kindling for the wood/oil furnace, and you all know it's just a matter of time before the blood spurts! At least I wear gloves and eye-protection when I chop.)

I am going to have to be veryveryvery careful with our new toys, to avoid this:

Oooh! I almost forgot! We also got the most adorable set of teeny measuring spoons:

"Dash, pinch, smidgen, nip"

Thanks so much, HWB and Nature Boy! (See, I can look relatively normal in a photo. Oh shut up, yes I can!)

Oh, I almost forgot the best bit. Nature Boy has a really cool job that, among other things, involves collecting vetebrate skeletons (is that redundant? Vetebrate skeletons?) So from now on, I get to save any dead vetebrates I find (I find a lot on the farm, and of course the ever-helpful Sophie loves to bring me corpses) and pop them in the freezer for NB to skeletonize at a later date.


Yes, dead things like the star-nosed mole Tristan brought me the other day. He didn't kill it, since it was frozen, but he did slobber all over it:


I'm thinking perhaps a specific freezer dedicated to this purpose might be reassuring to future dinner guests.

Okay, the dogs are demanding a walk and it's time to go. HWB and NB, come back soon! I'm off to look for owls.

PS: to HWB and NB: I'm waiting for the Ultramar oil guy to show up with HIS very long hose.


  1. Anonymous3:31 pm

    What do you mean: "Gordon could keep up with none of us, bless his little cotton socks?" While certainly his little socks do require more than a little blessing, I think he is plenty quick witted!


  2. Great. Now I've got MY sock monkey, and the "MYSTERIOUS SOCK MONKEY!" What next, the Grim Reaper Sock Monkey?

    I love how Gordon has anonymous defenders!

  3. Oh my! Gordon with his Saw and you with the new knives...and then I saw the dead animal picture!!!

  4. Knatolee - I'm laughing like a hyena over here! You are so darn funny! Love the sock monkey altered friend photos! And boy - didn't realize Naomi got around that much! That's okay - Marvin wasn't looking for a serious relationship....he'll still date her.

  5. Poor Surani... I guess that invitation to visit you in Sri Lanka is off? ;) Really, Gordon and I are quite normal in public!

    Shelley, Marvin has a forgiving heart. What a nice kitty!

  6. I've checked with NB, and a good time was, in fact, had by all.


  7. Anonymous1:54 pm

    Mother, please don't stab father with the breadknife!
    Remember 'twas a gift when you were wed.
    But if you must stab father with the breadknife,
    Please, mother, use another for the bread!


  8. Excellent poem, anonymous. I'll keep that one in mind for future reference!

  9. Anonymous12:55 am

    ::wiping tears of laughter from checks:::: Knatolee, I neglect looking at your blog for a few days...and you go and have all this hilarity! That'll teach me....

    but, wow, you guys have some funny looking friends! :)

  10. I have missed you, Dr.Sloth.


Thank you for all your comments, which I love to read!