Bread, my Waterloo

... or something like that. Not really Waterloo, as I haven't surrendered yet. I am trying to learn to make bread by hand. I have had success with one grainy sort of bread recipe from my Canadian Living cookbook, but not so much luck with any wholewheat recipe I try.

So the other day, I attempted this sesame-whole wheat bread recipe. It was supposed to make three loaves and it did. You were supposed to hand-shape them, and separate them after baking. They came out looking like this, a tad misshapen... I called the The Evil Triplets:



Apparently all my years of pottery classes have had no effect on me whatsoever. I can't even form a loaf of bread evenly! Come to think of it, I never mastered the pottery wheel either. I was more a "freeform" pottery kind of gal.

I separated the triplets in a crude operation:


And while it may not be something you want to associate with bread, does this not look like someone's BUTT?


The bread tasted pretty good and was reasonably light, but I don't like the way it toasts. I like bread with more body. It's fortunate that Gordon will eat just about anything I bake, with the exception of that wholewheat brick I made last month.

The Butthole Bread will probably make experienced bread bakers shake their heads. Funny, I can cook and bake just fine, but bread escapes me. I'll keep trying for now.

Back to the drawing board.