Uh, okay. We saw a couple of cyclists at the end of our laneway as we were driving out for lunch today. They had stopped for some reason, but got back on their bikes and peddled down the road a bit more when they noticed us coming. As we drove up to the end of the laneway, we saw one cyclist dismount and go down into the not-particularly-deep ditch, where there ain't no tree cover, baby. As we drove by, I got a CHARMING full frontal view of his, um, MAN-BITS as he urinated into the ditch, FACING the road.
I suspect he thought somehow he couldn't be seen (he obviously didn't think too hard!), because he was somewhat below the level of the road. Unfortunately that just put his man-bits at car-passenger eye level. He's lucky I didn't have a camera on me, or there'd be more than words in this blog post!!!! He's also lucky I wasn't a cop.
Had he been planning on peeing on my mailbox, then changed his mind when we appeared on the driveway? And what IS it about men not using public bathrooms for their needs anyway? It is not so remote here that he couldn't have peddled to the gas station down the road and used the frigging toilet, instead of peeing on my next-door neighbour's land in full view of ME. Or for the love of all that is holy, could he at least not have waited until he hit the forest down the road, and hidden himself in some trees?
Too bad I didn't have my wits about me. I could have shouted something like "Hey dude, you need some lead in that pencil!" or "Is that IT?!" Or the classic and topical, "Buddy, your barn door is open and the steer has escaped!"
It's not every day you see exposed man-bits on a country road. I'm hoping this is the ONLY day. EVER.