Warning! This image may offend sensitive viewers!

If you are under 18, don't look at this photo! It is VERY rude! Back away from the screen!!!

Many years ago in 1996, when I first met my Wisconsin friend, who shall (Phyllis) remain nameless (Phyllis), she (Phyllis) told me she wanted a tall, dark and handsome Mountie. So I brought her a short, dark and handsome Mountie, pictured here. Really, though, he looks more like an Inuit Mountie, which would be quite a rare, though not inconceivable, combination.

Skip ahead to 2005, and I visit the nameless friend (Phyllis) in Madison. What do I find in her (Phyllis') office but the Inuit Mountie! I had completely forgotten I gave him to her.

And then one morning I got bored and put my life drawing skills to work. The Mountie now has a, er, winkie as long as his leg. Unfortunately, my friend (Phyllis) did not have a brown marker, so the winkie is a startling shade of laser-paper white. But perhaps the Mountie has the disease Whacko Jacko has, vitiligo. Maybe it is affecting only his winkie! What do I know about such things?

The Mountie resides on the top of my friend's (Phyllis Phyllis Phyllis) computer monitor. And apparent Gromit is not particularly impressed with the Mountie's appendage! (I could make a crack about how it's probably because Wallace's is waaaaay bigger, but that would take your mind places it does not want to go.)

I'm pretty sure this little red-coated guy is breaking all SORTS of RCMP rules by exposing himself so blatantly. Perhaps that is why he has been exiled to Wisconsin!

And why, might you ask, does my nameless friend (Phyllis Phyllis Phyllis) feature so prominently on this blog? Well, probably because none of my other friends would tolerate me exposing their private lives in this manner. Of course, you get to see my husband here, but he too is used to me abusing him in such a fashion!