Poor Sophie came into my office yesterday to find a repugnant little feline hogging her dog bed. She decided to risk lying down next to her.
"The shame, the horror... pushed to the edges of my own bed by a six-pound CAT!"
"Mummy, can you rid me of this plague?"
"Maybe if I don't look, it will just GO AWAY!"
"Or perhaps I should just act nonchalant and lick my leg. Tristan! What the hell are you lookin' at??!"
But in the end...
"Neener, neener! I WIN! I WIN! It's all mine, mine MINE!"