There is much about our small local paper that drives me nuts, but I LOVE the classified ads. And here's why: gems like this!
Why? Why is the bull VERY VERY quiet? Why isn't it just VERY quiet? Why is it important for a bull to be quiet (really, I need to know! Roosters, I get, but why is silence in a bull an asset?) What did they do to the bull to make him VERY VERY quiet? Did they threaten to turn him into a castrato? "Okay, okay, I'll stop mooing! Put away the industrial-strength rubber bands!"
I am also mildly amused by the two fresh Heifers in the ad above, but that's just because I was born a city slicker and have a different take on "fresh!"
I wonder if I can convince Gordon we need a very very quiet pet bull?
And should I worry about the guy who buys ALL KINDS OF HORSES? Knacker-man, perhaps?
Why? Why is the bull VERY VERY quiet? Why isn't it just VERY quiet? Why is it important for a bull to be quiet (really, I need to know! Roosters, I get, but why is silence in a bull an asset?) What did they do to the bull to make him VERY VERY quiet? Did they threaten to turn him into a castrato? "Okay, okay, I'll stop mooing! Put away the industrial-strength rubber bands!"
I am also mildly amused by the two fresh Heifers in the ad above, but that's just because I was born a city slicker and have a different take on "fresh!"
I wonder if I can convince Gordon we need a very very quiet pet bull?
And should I worry about the guy who buys ALL KINDS OF HORSES? Knacker-man, perhaps?
Love it. I must've missed that today. I think I was reading the crime reports. My fave from the past? "Six hubcaps were stolen..." Important enough to be in the polie briefs? Wow!
ReplyDeleteGreat fun, Knatolee. As you know, there's nothing that picturesque in the Toronto ads. But, in Scarborough, a great spiritual psychic healer will (in 48 hrs., for $20) remove spell, impotence, read your entire future, and reveal names of friends and enemies.
ReplyDeleteIt could be a bit depressing, don't you think? I would prefer your very, very quiet bull, ...if only my apt. wouldn't be so small.
That's no bull. Well, at least if is not very very quite.
ReplyDeleteToo funny.
Living in cattle country as I do, I would wager a guess and say that some bulls are rather vocal and stand around bellowing when they detect a lady who's in heat nearby. Some bulls just dispense with the bellowing and walk through a couple of fences to get to their lady fair.
ReplyDeleteHaving a "very, very quiet" bull could be a good thing, but then again, he could be gay!
Laughing my heart out here...Those comments are priceless!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I wonder... the bulls I was around as a child would rush the fence and bellow, so, a very, very quiet bull would make me wonder if he was missing some bull stuff. LOL
ReplyDeleteI am getting an education here...and that's no bull.
ReplyDeleteNow if I can only stop laughing!
LOL
Hmmm, I am guessing that quiet might refer to the temperment in the bull as opposed to his lack of noise making abilities. When a horse is "quiet" means they are calm - not silent.
ReplyDeleteJust my .02
WOnderful. perhaps the bull likes nothing better than a quiet time with a glass of wine and What Heifer..
ReplyDeleteWill send this link to another blogger who knows a great deal about animals and likes to shoot the bull.
ReplyDeleteThey put six hubcaps in a police brief?! Wow! I missed that one!
ReplyDeleteClaudia, I grew up in Scarborough. How could I have missed this magnificent psychic? :) And you know, you can get miniature cows.
James, I was hoping you'd chime in, given your dairy farm history. :)
TTPT, I think this area is too homogeneous. I don't miss much about living in Toronto, but I did love the multiculturalism. A gay bull would do just the trick here! Mind you, I'm exotic enough as a child-free former city slicker.
Callie, I am wondering myself. It's all very suspicious. VERY VERY suspicious.
Elisabeth, there is so much about farming that I have to learn! VERY VERY much!
Steph, that makes sense, although it's not as funny as the gay bull, or the rude bull, or the castrato bull. ;)
Jams, do you think he might be a sophisticated bull who knows how to win the heart of a lady-cow with fine wine? I wonder if he chews his cud with his mouth shut?
Marylee, I await the insight of your bloggy friend! No bull!
Knatolee - Ok, if you think that the advertised bull might me gay, then get this - I think I have a gay chicken! I still cannot tell if it's male or female. He/she makes nests, hangs with the females, but looks like a rooster. He/she has never laid an egg, never crowed, never had sex with a hen. No other roosters have been seen getting busy with him. Who knows???
ReplyDelete~Lynn
Lynn, might your chicken be like these ones?
ReplyDeletehttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8561814.stm
Or maybe he/she is just gay. THere are gay penguins; why not gay chickens?